With the exception of primary school and Scouts, I had never been to a church service before this day. I asked to be baptised after reading a little Gideon's New Testament and Psalms given to me in Year 7... believe me, I was terrified of saying I wanted to be a Christian in public, but the mentions of 'baptism' in what I was reading in the Bible became too strong for me to ignore any longer. I got in touch with the only church I really knew, St Bridget's, because of the connection with my primary school. (Never underestimate primary schools ministry by the way - it was the start of what led me to Jesus!)
At this point, I barely had any idea about anything to do with Jesus! I had read the Gospels, but I had a terribly negative view of God, and I hated prayer - only doing it because I believed He would be angry at me otherwise. So in hindsight, when I was baptised, I don't believe I had fully given my life to Jesus at that point.
However, it was certainly one of the first major steps on the way. When we arrived that day, I was greeted by an incredibly smiley young person, Becky, and her welcome was radiant to me, as someone who had never known another Christian properly up to this point. A little baby named Noah (who I suppose would be about 12 years old now!) was being baptised on the same day as me. And like the dove returning to the ark, the 'olive branch gentle welcome of the whole community was profound, who took me under their wing each Sunday even though I was usually the youngest person there by 40 years or more (no exaggeration!) But I distinctly remember the amazement I felt at seeing that other Christians really existed, after such a lonely faith journey to this point.
St Bridget, as it turns out (I had no idea at the time!) is one of the most well-loved Christian figures of Ireland (and how fitting, as just under 7 years later I would marry the wonderful Nomi from Ireland!) Bridget (or 'Brigid') was a pioneer and leader of faith in the nation, having herself known St. Patrick. Her 'anam cara' (soul friendship) with her sister in Christ and student St. Darlugdach is well-known and a wonderful example of dear friendship in Christ, something I have longed for all my life. How much God blesses us through our soul friends!
God has an amazing way of making everything fit into His plan! He even sometimes lets things be done out of order. As I said, I don't believe I was yet a true follower of Jesus when He led me to be baptised. I had no idea about even the basics of the Gospel. However, in the way that this baptism connected me to other Christians, one of whom (with the help of the book Faith Confirmed) that summer began to explain to me the idea of being 'saved by faith' - i.e. that the Lord makes us His children not based on our good works, but on us placing our faith in Him. This was such a freedom I cannot even begin to explain it! Before this, I thought I could never know God because I could never make my deeds good enough... I was terrified He would reject me forever... but here was His hand, stretched out wide to me! Oh, the thought of this fills my heart with joy! And it was baptism that connected me with exactly the people, and books, God desired me to hear this from.
On this day, then, 12 years ago, the wonderful Lord Jesus brought about that this baptism happened. Yet what happened, if I did not yet know Him? Baptism is what I would call a 'sacrament of union' - the outward ceremony of an inward reality, which is the union, the joining of our being with the person of Jesus Christ, to receive His own life flowing dynamically and continually into us, like a branch in an olive tree, or a vine. The water symbolises being joined to Jesus in experiencing death with Him, the leaving behind and freedom from our old selves - together with the nightmare of our own guilt - and then being raised with Him, literally connected with His resurrection so we too share in this risen life. This sounds scary but is a freedom and wonder beyond any other!
When I was baptised my inward reality had not yet caught up with this profound outward ceremony. Yet the Lord had planned that it would lead me there: I first remember surrendering my life to Christ as I raised my hands for the first time ever in a worship service at Cliff College in Sept 2011 (thanks to the encouragement of an amazing sister called Su-Ling!), and then first feeling the first stirrings of love for Jesus in January 2013. These inward realities were still years down the line on 2nd Aug 2009 - but in God's view of the timeline of the whole of my life, still this day was His celebration, a public declaration of what was going to come.
Since then, I am so inexpressibly thankful to my wonderful Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ for joining me to Him, with all my fellow 'branches in the vine', brothers and sisters in Christ, my anam caras, soul friends. We will be together for all eternity! Since then Jesus has taken more and more of His place as the most wonderful One I have ever known, and could ever know. From originally hating prayer, aged 16, I can now testify that I have never known any joy even comparable to the joy I feel in His nearness, in spending quality one-on-one time with Him prayer and in worship! There is simply nothing that compares! I cannot even describe how much more wonderful knowing Him is than any other experience, 'high' feeling or anything else I have ever known!
And here is where it all began. Me, a 16 year old with a terribly dark view of God. A church with beautiful brothers and sisters in Christ. And the Lord Jesus present there, who was about to rock my life, and change it forever, from this day forward, with more and more 'joy unspeakable and full of glory'.
Huge things have little beginnings. And we often are not conscious of them until we look back. But God loves the first germination of His seeds!
There is nothing that compares to knowing Jesus Christ! O my Lord, praise You for what you did, represented in those waters 12 years ago. My heart will sing forever!
"You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
(Psalm 16:11)
(By the way, if anyone would like to talk more about this please message me as I love to talk about Jesus
He is more amazing than anything!)